Monday, December 31, 2012

New Year, New Start

New Years Eve Look

A new year, a new start.

That's the title I gave this post, because that's the way it feels, It feels as if I had to choose it all over again. Its the first time, that a new year means a new plan. A new beginning, although I don't always feel like this new big change. I believe in change, I believe that everything happens for a reason. All 'causes' occur to make life easier, better, and more worthwhile.
So I must say 'chin chin', let's raise our glasses for a future, a great future, wishing for health, prosperity love and lost of happiness. Tripping is falling, and standing up is learning.

'Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better, at everything I do.' My mother once wrote this to me on a napkin, and laid it on my pillow, since then, I tell myself this every morning, and  little by little started believing it.

Me, wearing; Calvin Klein Boots, Boutique skirt found in Andorra, Black woolen top, Zara Handbag.

Friday, December 21, 2012

From one day to the other

It is kind of typical that I post something about how life can change in just one day on the 21st of december, the maya's where not right I guess, because my house did not go up in flames. It is kind of funny that the day before 'the end of the world' my life changes radically.
Yesterday I had a plan, yesterday was clear, now it is not, nothing is. I was just starting to get used to the knew environment, the people, the weird vibes. And know all that suffering, for what? Ill have to start all over again, a new place, new people, new energies. Changes can be good, but all I can think right now is; 'I did not succeed'. They told me to leave, bringing me down to the floor, as I was looking down at their feet, 'they', the ones with no human instinct harshly told me I was not worth it, here or anywhere. 
When you don't expect something like this, it is hard to have a clear mind at all, what did I do wrong? I actually did everything correctly, they just didn't like my style, my 'me'. And know I think, anyone who doesn't like my 'me' isn't welcome in my life, in my world, in my blessed and bright globe of laughter and happiness.
But when I leave those thoughts of self-defence a side, I become vulnerable in this gigantic world of big people. My vision becomes blurred and I just can't see what's at the end of that path, I am so desperately wanting to see.
I will eventually get there, I will eventually become someone I am proud of, now I just have to try to push that self-confidence up in the air and although I am scared of waving it up like a flag, I have to toughen up and start believing in my 'me' and not what other people see in my 'me'.

Written by Layla Brizzio Brentar. ºcopyright. Photography by Layla Brizzio Bentar